(press play to listen and look)

I am ill with hope.

I am ill with hope.

I am giving up lying.

I am without wax.

I am a short eared owl searching for Natajack's.

I am using my art to make them vote.

I am ill with hope.

You don’t get it

I have found 

You and now

I want my whole 

World to start again

Because

You are

In it.

I am a mum who is extraordinary.

I am a dog called Amalie.

I am bleaching my tongue. 

The colour of WDK 

And dancing on the brink of 

Wigan's 3ft pier.

I am ill with hope.

I am the sky popping gunfire in Hightown.

I am this panic that never ends 

(how fun).

I am Saul.

I am a drug addict.

Geography is important to me.

I have a tooth missing 

And I drew a portrait of you in my diary.

I did it in one go and then ran away.

I am ill with hope.

I am the man who organized the NHS rally 

Down by PleasureLand 

Who looks like a red squirrel 

Lost on the beach.

I am the strong willed poet 

Who refuses their OBE.

I am your three year old niece 

Playing drums 

On mugs and cups and strings of bean.

I am your body 

That will always reflect desperately 

What you try to hide.

I am  ill with hope.

I am ill with hope.

I am giving up lying.

I am without wax.

I am ashamed of my vagina.

I am Amanda

And my kids hormones fly everywhere

Even out of their their homework

I am Judith

And I stay drunk so I don’t know.

I am standing face to face with Natasha  

Who has to show me a picture

Of her eyes so I can see 

What they properly look like.

I am ill with hope.

You don’t get it.

I have found 

You and now 

I want my whole 

World to 

Start again 

Because 

You are 

In it.

I am picking up sun and putting it in the bin.

I am simple words in complicated times.

Simple words like 

Fuck ecocide

Simple words like  

Read about Peel Holdings        

Simple words like 

I wish you happy feet.

I am ill with hope.

I am Nye Bevan.

I am your children 

Who are more likely to die this year.

I am worse than Margaret Thatcher.

I am Donna

And i had to choose between 

Heating and food last night.

I am the ferry 

That rumbles through your chest.

I am the organs of that merry-go-round 

That sound a bit like screams.

I am falling into your heart 

And exploding it.

“Liverpool are top of the league 

And we are in a tory majority 

This is the 80s”

A man called Ian told me that.

I am ill with hope.

I am engaged to variegated lies.

I am soz about me 100,000 times.

I am dying for you and for you again.

I am not misery porn.

I am the smile planted under 

The demolition of every great port.

I am the smile planted under 

The ash that has now formed harsh into a path.

I am a really good voicememmoer.

I am admitting this is hard.

I am disappointment at it most conscious.

I am not an individual because 

I am devastatingly in need of you.

I am standing close to you in a church.

I am standing close to you in a mosque.

I am standing close to while we march.

I am singing  

in tears 

 with you 

 in the Kopp.

I am singing 

  in tears 

  with you

for John Paul Gilooly

and the other 95.

I am singing 

in tears 

with you 

for 

Little Joe

underneath a 

 sea of scarves

I am putting out my arm to Michael 

Who lives in Crosby 

Who always wears fingerless gloves 

And shakes a little 

Who says to me seriously 

He doesn't believe Transgender exists 

And I am saying back to him 

“Are you ok?

Michael,  

Are sure you are ok?

It doesn’t have to be this way you know?”

I am ill with hope.

I am ill with hope.

I am another place.

I am the play-doe outside the Tate.

I am standing at the edge of the sea 

Screaming at the distance to be better

Please.

I am speaking ancient songs 

In Aldi.

I am the scouse male version of 

Scarlett Johansson.

I am the broken library 

In Billericay.

I am the rapeseed near 

Colchester that marks my map.

I am Foulness,

But everywhere.

I am art where there is no art.

I am politics where there is no politics.

I am asleep in the rain.

I am alive with you completely.

I am the millions of drinks in your body.

I am the strange fields.

I am the soggy mattress’s.

The cots

The fog

The faces

The bricks

The  quarters

The  dances

The  brave

The  sick

The  fun 

The spray paint 

The gangs the containers the sinking 

The anchors  

The  cheering

The  failing

I am the kind of failing 

That is never failing when 

All you want is  

Just to listen.

You don’t get it

I have found 

You and now 

I want my whole 

World to start 

Again

Because 

You are 

In it.

You don’t get it

I have found

You and now

I want my whole 

World to start

Again

Because

You are

In it.

It is favorable 

To cross great rivers

So

When I wake up

I will 

Be an 

Empty boat.

I am giving up lying.

I am without wax.

I am ill with hope.